25 years ago, a boy and I were on our way to a cabin in Minnesota when the driver slammed on the brakes and excitedly yelled at us all to get out. They were the northern lights. We spent the next 20 minutes lying on the hood of the car watching the sky dance.
I’m sure I felt elated and amazed. But when I think about that memory now, what emerges is different. Over time, it changed. The excitement and chatter calmed down and became smaller, more condensed, precious. Now, that memory brings me a little shot of teary-eyed gratitude.
Yoga challenges us to pay attention to the effects of our memories. Every time we remember a memory, a small path runs through our mind. That path (yoga calls it samskara) can be like water and wash away quickly. But before it does, it affects our present moment. It might bring me a small dose of gratitude, like my memory of the Northern Lights.
Or if it is a memory we think about more often, that path of samskara can be like sand and remain for a while. It affects our present moment a little more, perhaps impacting a decision or a state of mind. Because it is impacting our present moments a little more, we must be aware of it.
If it is a memory that we think about frequently (consciously or unconsciously), that samskara can be like cement. That path is always there, intimately intertwined in our present moments. It affects our choices, how we think about ourselves, and our relationships. A cemented samskara is not permanent if you don’t want it to be, but it takes a lot of work (meditation, prayer, therapy…) to wear it down.
That same boy and I just experienced the total solar eclipse together. My memory of the Northern Lights was like sand and affected many of my present moments this week. It affected the way I viewed the eclipse, the amount of information about the eclipse I texted to our daughters. Above all, it affected my enthusiasm to add another positive samskara to my reserves. Memories matter.
Until next time,
Laura
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